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Arizona Lou

Blog Archive 2019 Dec

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Sun Dec 1 = I'm still wrestling with the 2-hour video from my Roast on Monday.
- I took a trip this evening, stopping at 99 Cent Only for a 2-year pocket calendar, LA Fitness for pictures of some skin blemishes on my back and elsewhere and then to The Grand for my first comedy performance in a week. I got through it by napping in my van in the parking lot before the open mic portion started..

Mon Dec 2 = Today Terry Peterson, my dentist, found 5mm gum pockets surrounding my top two left molars. Normal, and the rest of my teeth are between 2 & 3mm. He recommended to start using a Water Pic device. Also, I joined his Adult Loyalty Plan for $400, which should cover me for the next year of dental expenses.
- This afternoon I made a cardboard pattern for the rear floor lid for the storage compartment of my new van. I also downloaded the Kia Access with UVO software for my phone. Reviews are not real good for it, but it seems to be what's available. It didn't install from my phone or allow access from it.
- This evening I went to CB Live. They had only one bucket (no challenges). My name was not drawn.
- When I got home, it took 14 minutes for me to put up all my Christmas decorations. Now I've got a wreath on my door and, starting at sundown for six hours, my whole house sparkles with red and green pulsating moving dots of light. Thanks to this little inexpensive LED projector I bought last year.
LED Projector
- After my usual extensive online research I ordered an Upgrade Water Pick Teeth Cleaner with 4 Modes & DIY Customize Pressure, Portable IPX7 Waterproof Oral Irrigator with a 300ML Tank.

Tue Dec 3 = Today I made appointment with my optometrist and somnologist (sleep doctor). This evening I went to The Bench Bar for about six minutes of comedy. I was one of four comedians before they switched to the Hip Hop and Rap part of the show.

Wed Dec 4 = Boy am I efficient - at least when it came to the latest survey for the back pain study in which I am participating. They said it would take 10 to 20 minutes. It only took me 1:40 minutes, thanks to my touch screen and already being familiar with some of the expected questions. Of course then I squandered the time I saved by bragging about it in this blog. I will get $15 on a gift card for keeping them informed.
- I tried some miscellaneous new comedy ideas tonight at Toso's. Bad news: I didn't remember them too well. Good news: I didn't use any notes. Of course no one knows when you forget stuff unless you point it out. I finished off my 8:50 minutes with the old familiar I don't Understand and Anemometer sets.

Thu Dec 5 = Today I booked the 32nd show for my Arizona Lou 2020 National Road Tour. All of these will be full-length shows of about an hour; 27 of them for veterans' organizations.
- On my way driving down to Grand Avenue Pizza this evening, I experienced my third visual anomaly in a week: unusually frequent for me in the past few months. This time, for about 30 minutes, I couldn't think or express myself very well, which was obvious to me and some of my fellow comedians before the show. My speech was NOT slurred, my face did NOT droop and I could walk normally. By my set, things had returned to normal and I had a pretty good set trying some new stuff and remembering some things which I forget last night at Toso's... again, without any notes.
- Tonight I heard about a bass ukulele

my younger brother who lives Christopher Creek, AZ with his wife
. You must be 72 now!
- The American Legion Post in Milwaukie, OR really has it's act together, doing all sorts of things. Last July on my road tour, they did something special for me and gave me one of their custom flag displays. I am so proud and honored, I'm surprised that it wasn't until today that I thought of taking a picture and putting it up here on my website. Thanks, guys for helping me remember good times doing shows for veterans' organizations!
- Tonight I did some booking work, caught up on this blog and did a light, full-body workout: first workout in almost three weeks.
- I took it easy on my right wrist because it has become a little painful, since I stopped taking Glucosamine Chondroitin 9.5 weeks (69 days) ago. I have started aggressively icing the wrist... several times a day/night.

Sat Dec 7 = Today I went to Home Depot for spring clamps to adapt for the LED stage lights I got for experimentation and to take on my trip... and some toilet bolt covers. I'll use the latter to keep my new van's seat anchor studs from poking the kites I plan to stow in the space under the floor at the back.
- Website-wise, I started the process of adding a drop-down menu to my Comedy Home Page and updated my Past Comedy Appearances.
- This evening's big project was redoing my Eastbound Calendar Chart, starting it two weeks earlier and shifting everything down. This will give me the option of scheduling to leave early if it works out that way. While I was at it, I put the chart on yellow paper. Yellow eastbound; white OBX; pink, westbound. Next year I'll also color code my veterans'-post-note sheets the same way.

Sun Dec 8 = Today Amazon, yes, on Sunday, delivered my cordless water flosser. It is a lot more powerful than I expected, so I am starting it on a setting that is less than Gentle.

Mon Dec 9 = Today I saw my Urologist, er rather Dan Silver, his assistant. He surely has big fingers! Nothing needs attention except an annual PSA and a digital rectal exam to make sure my prostate is not getting lumpy.
- On the way home I went by my Fry's pharmacy for the recommended Shingrex vaccine.
- Today I shifted the dates of my road tour up so I can include Texas: so far, Sat Apr 18, 2020; 7:00pm; VFW Post#7108; 8759 FM1560; San Antonio, TX 78254. I'll also be able to stop by and visit my niece and her family.
- My name was drawn for CB Live's Bucket List Open Mic. I did not have my set very well planned so did I Don't Understand. Casey came up with some helpful ideas to make the set even stronger. I can't wait to try them out.
- I finally figured out how to accomplish what I have been wanting to do for over a year with my Comedy Home Page: add a pull-down CONTENTS menu to various sections with links back to the top of the page. That way I can give one-minute tours of my website without leaving the home page. It wasn't really smart of me, but I stayed up late getting all the details done, getting to bed at 2:00am :(
- I have been aggressively icing my right wrist to see if I can get the pain to subside without resuming the glucosamine chondroitin twice a day.

Tue Dec 10 = One can sometimes expect a mild attack on the immune system after receiving a vaccine. Well, it hit. Fortunately I was prepared and had nothing really important planned. I started with a mild fever which peaked out at 100.9 this afternoon. Getting lots of rest (not staying up 'til 2am) and some chicken soup should get me through the woods. This is a WHOLE lot better than shingles.

Wed Dec 11 = Trying to apply some of Casey's ideas from Monday, tonight I killed (at least that's what some of the other comedians said) at Toso's with my Don't Understand/Anemometer routines. There was one non-comedian audience member and she freely participated in the show. Some thought she was heckling. I thought she was fun.
- It's nice having my 1,000th show out of the way so I can relax, enjoy more other comedians and not have to arrive early, do my set and then rush to another open mic. So I stayed for the whole Toso's show then stopped by LA Fitness to trim my beard to match my posters, take a shower and do a light full-body workout. I got to bed before midnight   :)

Thu Dec 12 = My big Getting my van ready project for yesterday and today was trying to test the van's electrical system while charging my
our van's Lithium/Iron/Manganese/Phosphate/Oxygen house battery
. The test didn't work out. In spite of drawing the LiFeMnPO down to 11.5 v, jumper cables from the van didn't seem to charge it. I was concerned that the LiFeMnPO would overload the van's charging system.
- I stayed up late tonight, sending a booking request to Cozzy's Comedy Club in Newport News, VA. I have performed five times there as a guest or for their Open Mics.

Fri Dec 13 = I got up early this morning, missing out on sleep, to make some booking phone calls. It is amazing to me how some veterans' posts keep their doors open, considering how haphazard they are. At least that is my viewpoint, trying to book free benefit comedy shows. The lady who I got up early to phone was not there like the said she would be (disgusting to chase after people this way). People at posts in another state were there so I booked two new shows; both in central Texas :)
- You may know me as a man of action... typically acting without thinking. This evening was no exception. As I headed to Fitness 1 for a medium full-body workout, I decided to stop by Goodwill for some things that I have been wanting, and to take advantage of their Half Price Saturday sale. Of course you notice what I did not. It was not Saturday yet. I did find a needed HDMI cable for my computer monitor and a Christmas gift for someone who will never know because she never reads my blog. I also found this detailed little 16" boat that I just had to have... for $5. Tomorrow it would be $2.50... or already sold.
- This evening's Getting my van ready project was to cover the seat mounting bolts, so they won't snag my kites, with white toilet bolt covers, and then to see if my four kites will fit in the under-floor back seat fold-down area. They will barely if I compress them a little.
kites sorage

Sat Dec 14 = Today I made booking phone calls and resolved my checking account, which went pretty smoothly.
This evening I started my drag-n-drop computer backup to one of my USB hard dries which I keep in a fireproof box, then took off to see...
- Marlon Wayans. On the way I stopped by Anytime Fitness for a short, slow mostly heavy workout. Marlon was great with lots of act-outs and some audience comments, but no real crowd work. I took notes, as usual, and picked up some approaches that might be adaptable to some of my routines. No, I DON'T steal jokes... ever! Many times the audience will be largely Black with a Black comedian. Not this time. Maybe because he was not dark.

Sun Dec 15 = After two months of innumerable phone calls and unanswered emails, trying to get confirmation for a comedy show we scheduled three months ago, the commander of an AMVETS post in Ohio said they're not really interested in having the show. Thanks for wasting my time and that of the good people at your post who have tried to be so helpful.
- From 4:30 - 5:00 this afternoon I aired out the house, figuring on Sundays there would be less dust and pollution. Earlier in the day would probably been better, as there would have been less traffic and the evening's chill had not set in yet. Next week!

Mon Dec 16 = Am I becoming an alcoholic? Background: On my trips I keep a 10oz jar of water with 1.5oz of raisins in my little an refrigerator. For my even day breakfasts I mix the contents with 1.5oz of powdered milk to go on my cereal. Delicious! When I got home in August, I stuck the jar in the big refrigerator here at home... and there it sat for four months. I didn't use it because red grapes here have always been on sale somewhere for less than a dollar per pound... until this week, so I got out the jar this morning and used its contents. The raisins had an interesting bite, evidently having fermented.
- I drove down to Discount Tire for a 2pm appointment for them to fix my flat tire. A plug did the trick because a nail had gone in and back out, maybe in a board somewhere. Then on to Winco Foods for my semi-monthly grocery shopping.
- I was drawn tonight for one of bucket open mic spots at CB Live in north Phoenix. I did my Introducing Arizona Lou/History set. Most of the audience had already heard it so did not laugh a whole lot. Casey, the honcho, had not heard it before and thought it was pretty funny. He suggested I leave out one tag line. It was a good show, as usual.

Tue Dec 17 = Tonight was my first appearance at Kimmyz Tatum Point for the open mic portion of their stand up comedy show. I met a few new comedians, but most were already my friends.

Wed Dec 18 = This evening's trip included a stop at Moon Valley LA Fitness for my weekly
poster trim
trimming my beard, eye brows and little quiff so I match my poster photos
. Then on to W Union Hills Ace Hardware to engineer a mounting system for my new LED stage lights. Then on to Toso's to do some comedy. The biggest applause of the night was after I walked Marilyn Johnson, a 71 year old audience member of generous proportions who had come in and harassed some of the previous comedians, carnying on loud conversations with them while standing at the front of the room by the stage. It was fun... for me!

Thu Dec 19 = At 10:50 this morning I set up an archive for all my Google data. I just heard of a person that Google dumped for some unknown reason. Now ALL his contacts, emails, calendars, Google Drive etc. are gone. Grand Ave Pizza
- A marathon of sorts started this evening. I found out that the George Self family was going to have their Christmas get-together tomorrow evening at Lynette's and I was invited. I set my goal to get my Christmas letter and cards finished by then. I had already organized the addresses, decided on the format and made an outline. I got the letter finished, pictures selected for the back... and got to bed at 3:00 am. The Marathon continued...

Fri Dec 20 = (Christmas Card Marathon continued). I tweaked the letter some and then tackled the pictures on the back. First version included 8 pictures, but I wanted more. The final version (below) included 12 pictures. Of course I wanted them to be in color and I don't have a color printer, so I drove to Office Max and had the pictures on the back of the letter printed out in color.
Then back home to print out the front letter and to address the envelopes in black-and-white with my laser printer. I scooped up the letters and envelopes and scooted off to Lynette's in Mesa
- Christmas there was the usual energy of about 12 grandkids, all a little taller. What family fun! Since I didn't have an opportunity to put them together I handed out the letters, cars and envelopes separately and let the recipients put them together.
- Later, back home, I got all the letters and cards enveloped, stamped and in the mail box a little after midnight.

Sat Dec 21 = This evening I went to see John Caparulo at the Tempe Improv. He was good, although I was unable to stay awake for the whole show. My friend, Mary Upchurch was the host/feature. Good for her. I sat by Roy and Janice Weger (below) from Florence, AZ.
- Tonight I added some emails to my fan list and downloaded this map of my comedy travels. The red dots are from my Arizona Lou 2019 National Road Tour and some of the blue circles are where I flew.

Sun Dec 22 = This afternoon was my first stand up comedy appearance at Pho Cao, a Vietnamese restaurant way down on McDowell Rd in Scottsdale. Then way over to Roman's Oasis on W Yuma Rd in Goodyear. This evening's trip added 100 miles to my van.
- It probably wasn't wise, but after Roman's Oasis, I refueled at Fry's in Goodyear. The Fry's gas was 17¢ cheaper, and I had to get gas before going home. The problem: Fry's gas is not Top Tier. I'll do it for only one tank.

Mon Dec 23 = Today I phoned my 95-year old Aunt Laura who is the sole survivor of the siblings on my mom's side of the family. It was a thrill to talk to her and my cousin Sharman (blow) who takes care of her. What a team!.
Aunt Christmas

Tue Dec 24 = The best way wasn't the easy way out. This evening, instead of dropping the 10 bounced email addresses from my Mail Chimp fan mailing list, I dug out the source slip for each entry and tried to correct the emails. Finding the slips was possible because I date stamp them and keep them stacked in the order of entry into my computer. The stack is now four inches high. Either people have trouble writing legibly or I have trouble reading their writing. Especially v/u i/l 0/o a/d
- At this point I have 1,011 fan emails; 424 from the Phoenix area. Three from my Phoenix list requested to be unsubscribed, which I gladly did. Don't want to send emails to people who have changed their mind.

Wed Dec 25 = MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hung around the house today. Due to the shifting clouds it took me an hour to get 20 minutes of sun.
- This afternoon I did my weekly
poster trim
trimming my beard, eye brows and little quiff so I match my poster photos
and treated myself to a nice long, hot bath. What luxury!
- I intended to shape the plywood cover for my van's rear seat storage area, but ran out of time after making a couple of long Christmas phone calls to friends and relatives.
- I projected my budget through March and, for comedy, purged my NBC Tonight Show emails using the result of mailer-daemon. That took a while.

Thu Dec 26 = Wearing mostly my BOOKER'S HAT this week: I had been keeping track of phone calls I need to make as Google Calendar events. About a week ago I started using Google Reminders. You can't include as much information, but they are a special color on the calendar and automatically roll over to the next day until they are marked "completed." Today I checked into Google Tasks which has enough advantages that I switched to it for my future booking phone calls. Nothing is perfect, but I will probably stay with the tasks.

Fri Dec 27 = To implement my two stage-lights attached to a spring clamp effectively on a double gimbal, I needed really stiff compression springs so the lights could be aimed and then stay put. Ace Hardware had the springs but they were too long. How do you cut a spring of hardened steel? Hack saw? Cold Chisle? Bolt Cutters? File? Dremel cut-off wheel? I finally decided on the latter and it worked like a dream? What would have taken a half hour of meticulous labor with a hack saw took less than one minute... and the disk didn't show any wear.
Gimbal stagelight
Works like a dream, at least in my at-home testing. We'll find out for sure on our road tour.

Sat Dec 28 = Today's trips included Ace Hardware (which was closed, so I added stops to): Fry's Food, Goodwill, Big Lots, Walmart and my favorite car wash for a $5 job.
- I added a closed cell polyurethane foam pad cover to one of my garage door hinges because, when I parked a little too far back, the hinge scratched my new van's bumper. Its first blemisn >:(
- Today was the last day and I went right up to the wire, hopefully not past it, with the warranty for my Ambient Weather WS-091 temperature console that I use with three remotes. It gives a lot of information at one glance, but its display is much darker and harder to read than my old defunct Radio Shack unit.
Here's what I wrote to Ambient:
I love my weather station, and would have given it a good review but the buttons have always randomly not responded when pressed. It appears that all the buttons on the unit have this problem, even with fresh alkaline batteries as per your instructions.

You can imagine this is a special problem when pressing and holding, as to reset the min/max temperatures. It may take several tries and each try takes about five seconds of holding to find that nothing is happening. You ought to try this when rushing off to do a comedy show.

It is also especially a problem when setting the alarms... and there's forecasting a freeze tonight here in Phoenix (BURRR!).

I would like for you to replace the base unit with one that works properly.

As you know, the unit has a one year warranty. I received it Jan 4th, this year (2019). It was shipped January 2nd. I placed the order Dec 28, 2018.

The comedy? You might get a laugh on my website at arizonalou.com

Thanks for your help,
Louis Self
- It turn out that there WAS a freeze. At about 6am my Ambient temperature alarm went off at 30° F so I got up and covered my natal plums. It's a good thing because the low temp in my back yard turned out to be 68.9° F

Sun Dec 29 = I finally got around to start testing the Anker 7-Port USB 3.0 Data Hub that I received two days ago. I had hoped that it would serve as a non-powered hub. Unfortunately, it is useless unless plugged into power. It has stacked USB ports so seven odd-shaped devices can be plugged in at once. Also it provides .9A (I measured at 1.1A) charging power to six of the ports and high charging power to the 7th port. I did not yet confirm that.

Mon Dec 30 = Back to my BOOKER'S HAT: First thing every morning after breakfast I have been phoning veterans' post back east and organizing follow-ups for my Arizona Lou 2020 National Road Tour, which starts in April.
- At Karsten's Ace Hardware I found the perfect 3" spring that I can cut into 3/8" lengths to use with the 1/4" bolds and spring clamps for the portable stage lights for my road tour.

Tue Dec 31 = Today I got my Ambient Thermometer boxed up and ready to mail in for an exchange, under warranty. What a surprise. They're based in Chandler, AZ. I've done lots of comedy in Chandler.
- Tonight I hosted the comedy show at The Tempe Tavern on Apache Blvd. The regular host/producer had not arrived by show time. I had told some of the Tavern patrons that there was going to be a comedy show... so there was. Four of us had 10 minutes each, plus the usual host who came a little later.

2020 IN SUMMARY. Here is some stuff:
Gross T-Shirt sales and donations combined, $1,747.41 in 144 transactions. Biggest month, July, on my road tour, heading back home to Phoenix on the northern and western route. Second bigest month was November, leading up to my Thousand: Roast Arizona Lou Special show.

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