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Blog Archive 2018 Jul

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Sun Jul 1 = After making a few necessary phone calls and researching gyms and libraries, I drove to an Anytime Fitness.
- What talent tonight at Article 24; Brighton, Massachusetts (a suburb west of Boston). One performer was Josh on the piano, singing his original compositions. Also host, Adam Sickler was a great talent.

Mon Jul 2 = For quite a while today I spoke by phone to Peter Hefty, the ventriloquist headliner I met in Savannah, GA. He gave me lots of ideas and may be interested in having me open for him sometime. He is a genuinely nice guy.
- Tonight's comedy was for 5:13 in Hartford, CT at the Sea Tea Theater. I forgot to record the set.

Tue Jul 3 = Area 23 is a hard to find but neat spot in the Smoke Stack area of Concord, NH. Ken, the host, gave me 10 minutes and I took 10:16. It was a good group. They responded well to my first reference to Mass Holes (people from MA).
- Kirk, the owner, let me park for the night in the very quiet and shady wooded area nearby.

Wed Jul 4 = No open mics on this holiday, so hung and did stuff like trimming my beard and listening to some of my favorite talk shows. I spent the night at the Attleboro, MA Walmart.

Thu Jul 5 = I spent time in the Pawtucket, RI Library.
- This evening's comedy was at The Salon in Providence, RI.
- I spent the night at a northern Providence Walmart separated only by a chain link fence from four tracks of Amtrak. Fortunately there were no grade crossings in the area so there were no train horns - just the smooth sound of the trains going by at around 80 mph. Most of the trains had engines on both the front and the back. They contained between five and seven cars - single level, two-level or a combination. Cool!

Fri Jul 6 = Today was mostly driving to Auburn, ME, the nearest big city and only a 15-minute drive to little Mechanic Falls (population about 3k) where I will be doing comedy on Sunday.
- I stopped by the Auburn Planet Fitness shortly before it was closing - late, thanks to my Garmin GPS showing the gym in the wrong place. There was just enough time for me to use the bathroom (still having acute diarrhea) but not time to sign up for their Silver Sneakers Progam with Josh.
- I spent the night tucked in on the west side of the nearby Walmart.

Sat Jul 7 = I had 100% shade until about 10am this morning beside the Auburn Walmart where I did some shopping and publicity.
- Then on to Mechanic Falls and their library. I am getting to not like Garmin. Their GPS took me along a dirt road and to a place by a river. No library. My phone got me to the correct place.
- Nancy, at the library, does a good job of making the library serve the community. In the hallway outside the library, they have a table and soft chairs for using the Internet when the library is closed.

Sun Jul 8 = This morning I did a little grocery shopping in Auburn, ME and then tried to figure out why the Motorola Droid phone I got from
Stanley, my older brother who was a retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS until he succumbed to a three-week bout with Myasthenia gravis in March, 2018
's is not recording continuous video for an hour + like my LG phone does, using the same Cinema FV-5 Camcorder software. Here's what I've tried so far: Experimenting until I found where the video files are being stored on the SD card Formatting its SD card in the Droid phone. Nothing has worked
    - I experienced several firsts with tonight's comedy:
  1. The first time I had my name on a marquee, humble as it was
  2. Marquee
  3. The first time I appeared at a place called The Mill House
  4. My first appearance in the town of Mechanic Falls
  5. My first appearance in the state of Maine
- I spent the night parked on the east side of The Mill House. About 6am I moved the van farther east near some trees that would furnish perfect shade until noon.

Mon Jul 9 = I got a lot done today. Before leaving Mechanic Falls, I took pictures of my marquee, simulating a lens shift to correct for converging verticals. Later I measured my tire pressures (nine days later than scheduled), washed my van and stopped by several Big Lots stores to buy out all of a certain electronic device I plan to give as Christmas gifts. Sorry, I cannot reveal what it is. Santa would not like that. I also checked several Goodwill stores for an iron and ironing board. None had them.
- Tonight's show was at The Studio of Madness, in a guy's apartment in Beverly, MA. I killed with 6:36 minutes of Yoga and Viagra.
- Before turning in for the night, armed with a pare of scissors, I cut two notches out of the left side of my windshield sunscreen. Now it fits like a dream. I don't know why I didn't think of that idea 20 years ago. I spent the night on Prospect Street in a quiet residential neighborhood with shade in the morning from trees.

Tue Jul 10 = This morning, as the sun crept closer to my van, I relocated it to a new street under a shade tree. I visited with a jogger going by and with officers Brown and Lane of the Beverly Police Department who, of course had received a call from someone observing my presence. I explained that I was working on
Stanley, my older brother who was a retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS until he succumbed to a three-week bout with Myasthenia gravis in March, 2018
's estate. They let me stay, understanding that I would be leaving in about two hours.
- Tonight's comedy was an awesome show. I killed with my Suplements and Gym routine at The Winner's Circle in Salisbury Mass. Jeff Duford, the owner recorded the video. He did a pretty good job considering how much I moved around. The host was Chris D.

Wed Jul 11 = This morning was mostly driving with stops by several Big Lots for more Christmas electronics gifts.
- Tonight I appeared at The Vermont Comedy Club. I didn't get there in time for the first list with 5 minutes each, so signed up on the stand-by list for 3 minutes. I heard from across the lobby, "Arizona Lou!" It was Richard Bowen who I had met at a Phoenix open mic when he was on tour there. He WAS on the to the first list and graciously offered to trade with me. What a guy! Afraid I would go over, I didn't even use my full five minutes. Richard said, "... that was a cool surprise!! Thanks, Richard!
- After the show I went to the Greater Burlington YMCA - one of the best. They have a separate men's locker room area with a spa etc. etc.

Thu Jul 12 = This morning I left Burlington, VT, headed for Kansas City. On the way I stopped to make several important phone calls.
- My customized cargo shorts have developed a tear under the right rear pocket, furnishing me with some unwanted ventilation. It could be mildly embarrassing if the breach in my modesty reviled my red or blue bikini underwear.
- Everything came together for repairing the shorts today. I had already gotten some iron-on patch material at a Walmart somewhere in New England and cut the material for the exact spot. However no Goodwill I stopped by had an iron and ironing board for the job... until today, when I ran across the Goodwill in Seabrook, NH that had a neat lightweight 1100 Watt iron for $2, but no ironing board. I tried, unsuccessfully, to use a cardboard box on the floor while I was testing the iron. So I bought it and further cluttered up my van with my find.
- Later in northern NY I accidentally ran across a Salvation Army Thrift Store that had an ironing board, but no iron. Armed with my new iron I used their ironing board to fix my shorts and then donated the iron to the store. The whole process was a little weird and took some explaining.
- I made it as far as Utica, NY and a Big lots for more of the electronic devices and to the Utica Planet Fitness. I spent hours at one of their little tables on their Wi-Fi, updating this blog, paying off the two credit cards on which I had made charges, composing an email to my KC fans about my Sunday appearance and then sending it out to them.

Fri Jul 13 = I have been going round and round with a sprinkler company, trying to get the
my Phoenix rental house located on Dahlia Drive
sprinkler system workng for the new tenant. Not too easy, when I'm on my way driving in New York between Burlington, Vermont and and Kanss City, MO. I'm not sure the company knows what they are doing... and it is costing!

Sat Jul 14 = Tonight, in Effingham, IL, still driving to Kansas City, the Walmart had no morning shade trees so I found a place beside a semi truck that wold be shady in the morning. In the middle of the night, that truck pulled out and was replaced by a flat-bed truck. So much for my shade in the mmorning. About daybreak, the second truck was replaced by a regular box-type semi truck... for shade... execpt it was overcast, raining a little, so shade was a moot point, all along.

Sun Jul 15 = The first project today was driving on to KCMO. On the way I called in to Leo LaPorte, the Tech Guy's national talk show about simulating a tilt-shift camera with any camera... even a point and shoot or a cell phone.
- I got to Stanford's in time to hang out for about two hours before the show. About six people came for a show, but the place was closed up and some of the chairs had been removed. Things were in a little of a disarray inside those locked doors. There was no notice or indication of the closure on the door, or the Stanford website or in their FaceBook entries.
- They came for a show, and they got one... on the sidewalk... outside: a 41-minute show by me.
- I spent the night Roland Park, KS

Mon Jul 16 = I arrived in Hutchinson, KS today in time for my 4pm appointment with Jim Oswalt, the attorney who will be handling the Determination of Descent for
Stanley, my older brother who was a retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS until he succumbed to a three-week bout with Myasthenia gravis in March, 2018
's estate. I also talked around with various people who might be interested in buying one of Stan's two properties.
- I spent some time in the Hutchinson Public library, one of the best ones across the country.
- I spent a rather warm night in my van in Steven Fowler's back yard, as I will the next three nights. Thanks, Steve!

Tue Jul 17 = Today I researched real estate sales agreements and printed out copies of one, hoping to use them to sell Stan's houses by Friday

Wed Jul 18 =
Stanley, my older brother who was a retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS until he succumbed to a three-week bout with Myasthenia gravis in March, 2018
's friend, Steve Fowler, helped us out a lot. I paid him $3000 for his servies for the past four months.
- Good news: I used the real estate sales agreements today when I sold both of Stan's properties to Randy and his X, Dianne. They are thrilled with the fix-up projects... and we are happy to be rid of the properties. The deal will not close until we get the Determination of Descent, probably by late October.

Thu Jul 19 = Last night John Murphy at the Planet Fitness front desk mentioned that his dad, also John, has the Murphy Shillelagh Vapor Shop (105 W 5th Ave 620 639-2053) which has a little room where he hosts local comedians. I stopped by the lounge and gave John my October, 2018 avails for when I am going to be back in the area for
Stanley, my older brother who was a retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS until he succumbed to a three-week bout with Myasthenia gravis in March, 2018
's military memorial. John said he needs to do some checking, but suggested he might be able to put me as the headliner after one or two local opening acts. COOL!
- This afternoon I went over to Stan's Sherman place and secured it with padlocks and a chain, which I had just purchased at Ace Hardware. I met some neighbors across the street who wanted to buy the place, but had lost the business card I had given them. They were very disappointed that I had sold it yesterday afternoon at 5:15 and would not renege (my integrity again). Also they would have been willing to pay a lot more for it.

Fri Jul 20 = Since I got the houses sold, I headed toward Albuquerque a day early. Instead of going through a full comedy routine while driving, I have started practicing single five-minute sets. Hopefully I can get the sets perfected and comfortable so I can plug them into my routne, depending on my audience.
- I spent the night at the Super 3 in Tucumcari, NM on the way to Albuquerque.

Sat Jul 21 = I arrived in Albuquerque today. I have been trying, unsuccessfully, to contact a local TV station in Albuquerque about my appearances there.
- A new project is researching new, basic, electronic sewing machines like the Singer Featherweight C240.

Sun Jul 22 = I hate foam soap... because you get hardly any soap. I weighed some today and you get 1/30, or 3%, of the soap for the same volume of regular liquid soap.
- I got a call from Pedro Ramirez, my landscaping guy back in Phoenix, that there is a leak in my drip system. Not a bad one. I authorized him to fix it and trim the shrubs.
- Batting zero for two with Stanford's on the 15th and tonight at Bose Brothers Brewing. Bose Brothers had decided to have a showcase instead of the open mic. Tito, the producer did not tell the venue, so I had billed the show with my appearance on my website and told people about it. I even had two disappointed guests there to see me. COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT, GUYS! I paid the $5 admission and stayed for the whole show anyway, to support live comedy. One of the features was young, Matt Ziemak who I met in Phoenix.
- I spent the night in an area with tree shade in the morning near an Albuquerque Anytime Fitness. Since the days and nights have been warm it takes more energy to run my refrigerator with my
our van's Lithium/Iron/Manganese/Phosphate/Oxygen house battery
. About 3am, the voltage was getting a little low and when I tried to start my van to charge it up my van wouldn't start. Evidently out of gas: a combination of being low in the first place, idling in the evening to charge up the LiFeMnPo and parking on an upward slant. As you may know running out of gas is not a good idea with the modern fuel rail injection systems... so I went back to sleep.

Mon Jul 23 = About 5am I 6am I woke up and observed that a
Low-Voltage Disconnect. To avoid battery damage, it shuts off the load of my LiFeMnPO battery at 11.5 Volts.
had occurred. I decided the best time to walk for gas was early before sunrise and the heat of the day, so walked to a nearby Walmart to buy a gas can, then to a Murphy Express station on the way for 2.5 gallons of gas and then back to my van. It started right up and got my van to the Murphy Express where I filled up and donated the gas can to Murphy for others to use. The whole thing really messed up my night and sleep schedule.
- The rest of the day I measured my tires' tread depth, went to Planet Fitness, a library and did comedy at a couple spots. The Lizard Tail Brewing Company is a music only open mic with very talented, mostly older musicians. The host let me do five minutes of stand up because the venue had told me I could. Thanks! Later, it was my second appearance at The Back Alley Draft House.
- I spent the night, headed toward Arizona at the Coors Blvd Walmart in western Albuquerque.

Tue Jul 24 = Today's big project was driving to Payson, AZ for a visit with
Rose Anne
My X wife who lives in Payson by a lake
. As usual, we enjoyed catching up. I always respect her ideas. I forgot to ask her about her recent visit with her brother in Phoenix and to see if she had any ideas about how to handle my irregular sleep pattern.
- Speaking of sleep, I got a good night's sleep in my van in Rose Anne's driveway.

Wed Jul 25 = After breakfast at
Rose Anne
My X wife who lives in Payson by a lake
's I drove down to Phoenix and home sweet home. I got the van unloaded and made a couple phone calls in time to lay in the sun for 20 minutes at noon - the first time in about a month.
- At noon I turned down the house's AC from its 89° F vacation setting to my summer setting of 82° F. Then I went to the Desert Ridge Joann and tried out some electronic sewing machines, including the Singer Featherweight C240 which I am considering. Alissa was very knowledgeable and enjoyed helping me sample the machines and their features.
- Then my first heavy legs workout in about a month... at the High Street Anytime Fitness. I am going to try to do a gym 6 days a week, now that I am home.
- I got home to a hot house. After 10 hours it was 91° F. I called Czar of Goetz Home Services from Chandler who just happened to be in my area. He came over and added 2-4 lb of used R22 Freon that he had on his truck, saving me around $300 because the R22 is expensive. He explained that there was a slight risk of contamination with the used, which he had never yet seen. As I recall, while adding the Freon, he kept the low side at around 55psi and the high side up to 250. If the unit gives problems in the future, a leak in the evaporator (indoor unit) would not be worth fixing, at about $1500. Czar only charged me for his trip and labor . Thanks, Czar. You're great!

Thu Jul 26 = I cut my hairs, then went off to a gym for a shower. Yesterday, I evidently bumped my right arm and ended up with a 10 x 7 mm area of no skin skin, which I didn't notice until today.
- Other projects: I replenished my T-Case and put in a load of laundry this evening, let it agitate with detergent soak, and will let it soak overnight.
- Mr Sew and Vac: I'm surprised he is still in business. He almost ran me out of his store, with his New York accent, when I told him what I wanted in the way of a sewing machine - especially when I told him a LCD screen would be nice. He said he didn't know what that was and that none of his machines had one. To top it all off, he would not let me try out any of his machines. Buying from him would be like buying a pig in a poke.

Fri Jul 27 = Before venturing out today, I watched some Tonight Show monologues, recorded while I was gone, took care of some emails, made tickets for my newly scheduled New Faces appearance on August 26th and added it, and my just scheduled appearance on Oct 5th at The Dirty Leprechaun Lounge in Hutchinson, KS, to my website. I also added them to my Announcement slips and printed out 72 of 'em on yellow paper. I will be headlining in Hutchinson :) - my first time in a show not produced by me.
- After my first visit to the north Phoenix Planet Fitness (slow heavy torso workout), I made it to Joann to buy my reserved new Singer Featherweight C240 well before the store closed at 9pm, but AFTER the sewing machine area closed at 8pm. So I came home and downloaded the owner's manual, read it completely and watched a couple Singer videos about the machine.
- Then to waste further time, I looked online for bikini swim briefs (found none to suit me) and made a list of all the open and booked mics in the valley, using Trevor Skies' website which he had updated yesterday. Thanks, Trevor!

Sat Jul 28 = After several days of research, this afternoon I bought a new computerized Singer Featherweight C240, sewing machine (right) to replace my old, but sturdy Kenmore (left).
sewing machines
It was more expensive than I would have liked, but is it sweet! Best fatures I like are: - On the way I stopped by Harbor Freight, armed with the new $160 gift card I received in the mail while I was gone. It was the result of a class action lawsuit from their sneaky and dishonest sale pricing. Near the first of the year I had submitted a request to be a part of the lawsuit, having no idea that I'd get this much. money. Of course you can bet that the attorneys got millions. In the store I sold the gift card for $150 to a guy who was buying a gasoline engine. Fortunately I was able to accept his credit card through the SQUARE account I use for my T-Shirts.

Sun Jul 29 = I have my new electronic sewing machine on the kitchen table and have been familiarizing myself with, its stitches etc. Here are the guts while it is showing off stitch #07 which involves forward and reverse movement as well as needle positions similar to a zigzag. You can see all the movements, including the black lever behind the presser foot which is the top feed dog;

I am comparing it to my old one, which is residing on the kitchen counter.

Mon Jul 30 = In the health department I have two daily menus: Even days and odd days. I have been having urgent and frequently loose stools for the last couple of months, so today, in an attempt to determine the cause, I started five days of just odd-day menus.

Tue Jul 31 = For rotation and balancing, I went to my nearby Discount Tire and found the driver's front tire was separating with a bubble. I suspected such because, on the way from Albuquerque my van developed a shimmy. To avoid having one new tire, I had them replace the front two tires and put the passanger front as the spare, which had never been used but was an old tire. They also switch sides for the rear tires, which have the least tread.
- From online I ordered some sprinkler parts for
my Phoenix rental house located on Dahlia Drive
and three styles of a presser foot serger; sometimes called a side cutter or lock cutter, hoping one of them will fit my new, low shank machine. My machine's top feed lever might interfere with mounting the serger foot. The serger foot gives garment seems a professional looking finish, as shown below.

- Before bed I got my $20 Wyze Cam woking. It was pretty easy. Now I can see what's going on in my house, day or night, on my phone from anywhere in the world and even get motion alerts, listen to and talk to an intruders.

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