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Blog Archive 2017 Dec

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Fri Dec 1 = This is the little dime bank that got me into the habit of saving when I was a kid. The first dime locks the door. The 100th dime unlocks the door and you get your $10.00.
Dime Bank

Sat Dec 2 = Stan and I went to
My nephew, George's son who is an engineer for a high-tech company
's in east Mesa to celebrate
my younger brother who lives in Mesa with his wife
's 70th birthday. What a party!
- We went in style. Stan and I jumped in my van and drove to Scottsdale to pick up Steve's Tesla Model P85D. What a car!
Model 3 50 kWh 220 miles 0-60 in 5.6 sec 11/22/17 - later battery technology
Model 3 70 kWh 310 miles 0-60 in 5.1 sec 11/22/17 - later battery technology
Model P85D 85 kWh 220 miles 0-60 in 4 sec Steve's Tesla, pictured above
Insane Mode 0-60 in 3.2 sec
Model S P90 Ludicrous 90 kWh 0-60 in 2.8 sec
Roadster 220 kWh 620 miles 0-60 in 1.9 sec Base Model, $200,000 introduced 11/22/17

You can't open the doors because the handles are flush and inaccessible, until you approach the car with the fob in your pocket. Then they extend and the car turns itself on.
- After George's party I filled the Tesla seats with excited grand nephews and nieces. We went down to Ray Road where the speed limit is 50 to do a couple launches. The car was completely silent except for the squeals of delight as everybody was thrust back in their seats and the acceleration modified the blood flow in our legs... and brains. Hardly noticing it, we pushed the speed limit a little, maxing out at 82mph. Shane also got to drive the car.
- On our way back to my house Stan and I did a maximum acceleration from 20 miles per hour to 87. That took the CAR about four seconds, while to get there took ME 76 years.
- The car had a 17-inch touch screen monitor in the middle. I figured out how to turn on the lights and raise and lower the car, but never did figure out how to tune the radio... or how to turn the car off. I discovered, you just walk away and it sort of takes care of itself.

Sun Dec 3 = This full day started after breakfast with my returning the Tesla to Steve early (11:30am) so I would not have to cut our Family Christmas short.
- Family Christmas was here at my house.
Stanley, my older brother who is retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS
was already over here visiting.
George & Cindy
my younger brother and his wife who live in Mesa, Arizona
came over as did Stacie (George & Cindy's youngest), Dave, her air force husband and little Rocco, their two-year-old, who enjoyed my trains. They made fun of my healthy dinner but gladly ate it. We all had a good visit and exchanged gifts. Why now? Because I am going to be kiteboarding on Tobago during the holidays. Stan went home with George and Cindy
- After doing the laundry from the company I went to see Darrell Hammond at The Tempe Improv, 930 E University Dr in Tempe. Darrell is the author of God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live, and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem. Without complementary tickets the whole event cost me about $50. This time, as well as the last few times I went to the Improv, I was a little disappointed.
- On the way home I got my saliva sample in the mail for DNA analysis by 23 and Me.

Mon Dec 4 = Today I bought airline tickets from Trinidad to Tobago on Caribbean Airlines and printed out luggage rules for both Caribbean Airlines and American Airlines. By booking separate flights I save about $500 over booking from Phoenix all the way to Tobago on one ticket.
- This evening I went to the weekly Writer's Table at Comedy Off Main St in Mesa. When it came my turn, we worked on my Tesla routine.
- After that I did a light full body workout in Tempe and did seven minutes at The Time Out Lounge. It was sort of my farewell appearance there because I will be gone to Tobago through most of January. I had a good run of eleven straight weeks at Time Out and never duplicated material. Sometimes they laughed and sometimes they didn't. You know bar crowds.

Tue Dec 5 = The residual left over from the regular sized used-up stick deodorant applicators bothers me. I like Speed stick, Regular. I have an old .5oz applicator that is perfect for my pocket. Two problems: 1) it is used up; 2) They are no longer available. Today I finally worked out a method to melt the residual out of an empty applicator and add it to the .5 ounce applicator. That ought to keep me going for another 20 years.

Wed Dec 6 = I did a heavy arms workout today. I also ran across some interesting podcasts by Paula Pant. She interviewed Joshuah Dworki, founder of Bigger Pockets.

Thu Dec 7 = I projected both my old and new checking accounts through January, 2018, which will take me through my Tobago trip.

Fri Dec 8 = Gary, from TermTech came over today to check out a termite tube in the master bedroom by the north wall switch. He said it hadn't been active for a while. He drilled some little tiny holes in the baseboard and injected a special non-repellent termiticide expanding foam.
- I cut my hairs today (was getting a little ragged looking), researched tripods, bought one at Best buy, took a shower at LA Fitness and watched a video of Deborah Frances-White about creativity. She said to not try to think of good ideas, but ANY ideas, otherwise we stifle our creativity.

Sat Dec 9 = I tried to exchange the $20 tripod I bought at Best Buy for a $60 one. They couldn't do it because their computers had not recovered yet from a power outage. I just bought the expensive tripod and will return the other one when I get back from my trip.
- This evening I packed my golf bag to 49.2 lb. At 50 lb one has to pay a big over-weight fee. As it is, I may be hit with an oversize fee.
- I was going to go to bed about 9:30pm, but decided I really need to get this blog updated. Three hours later, the blog is online and I'll head for bed. I really need the rest, as I have a lingering low-grade fever and a mild headache. Also I need to practice getting up early for my Tuesday morning departure to Tobago.

Sun Dec 10 = This morning I sharpened the side trimmer on my Remington F-5790 for five minutes with toothpaste; 23 months since my last sharpening. Now it does little trimming but a lot of hair pulling.
- I met George and Cindy for
The organization I support and through which I take non-driving seniors shopping and to their doctors' appointments
's 27th annual Poinsettia Tea; our first, and probably last time. The entertainment was the North Valley Chorale which did mostly Broadway tunes. They were pretty good. The rest of the program was some awards and fundraising.
- After the tea I stopped by an LA Fitness to poo, change clothes before heading to the Phoenix Center for the Arts' Third Street Theater, where I was third on the program, doing clean comedy and needing to leave early and pack for Tobago. Reinhardt Fabian of Fabian Films operated my camera #1.
- Back home I uploaded the 10 media files from my last two appearance and organized some for packing for Tobago.

Mon Dec 11 = The biggest thing I did today was decide to leave my 8m kite behind and use the weight allowance I gained for my best tripod and giant towel. I got everything packed and to bed by 11pm, which is pretty good for me the night before a trip.

Tue Dec 12 = What a long, Long, LONG day! I got up early and took the Supershuttle to Sky Harbor. Security was relatively quick because they had a special line for us Global Entry Pre-Check people. I found a good seat near an outlet so did computer stuff while waiting. for the plane.
- Miami's plane switch went like clockwork, even with my tight schedule, because I had requested a wheel chair. Thanks for the suggestion,
Stanley, my older brother who is retired as a machinist for Eaton Corporation in Hutchinson, KS
. I got to ride on one of those electric carts. It turns out my departure gate was only eleven gates away and I could have walked it myself, but you never know.
- Things deteriorated rapidly when I reached Trinidad. They may have had a wheelchair waiting for me, but nooo. I walked right past the empty wheel chair line to find a line with about 300 normal people waiting for Immigration.
- After getting through Immigration we all went to baggage claim. All the bags had arrived, but not ours... meaning bags for about 30 of us who had larger ones. That line, to file a lost-baggage claim, was VERY slow.
- I got to the waiting area under the masive dome about 1:30am, wandered around and found no place to get rest. The best I could do was some uncomfortable seats where I kept sliding down with my feet propped up on the carry-on bags, which I still possessed.
- Instead of taking my scheduled 11:30 am flight to Tobago, I flew stand-by on the first flight of the day, which left at 5:30am. Thanks, Caribbean Airlines!

Wed Dec 13 = Landing on the island of Tobago about 6am, I decided to walk to Douglas Apartments, my island home for a month. Their sign is not very prominent. I took note of several other apartments and lodges as I walked about a half mile too far. I finally asked someone who sent me back.
- Douglas Apartments; Milford Rd and John Gorman Trace; Crown Point, is a beautiful place.
My apartment (upper right) is about 15 feet wide and about 30 feet from the front door to the back door, with the kitchen (microwave, propane stove, electric water pot, frost-free refrigerator), bedroom (air conditioned), bathroom and closets between. Andre, son of the owners, a young man probably in his late 20's, checked me in while we visited about comedy, kiteboarding and my website. By then it was still fairly early in the morning so I took a long nap to make up for last night at the Trinidad airport (POS).
- In the evening Andre graciously showed me around the neighborhood in his SUV and took me shopping for my 2-weeks of groceries at the Penny Saver where one of the employees helped me efficiently find just about everything I needed.
- I figured I deserved to get to bed early, but instead, got started on comedy by doing six minutes during the 9pm Karaoke show at the Jade Monkey Casino Bar and Grill; Tobago Technology Centre, Milford Rd; Crown Point, Tobago.

Thu Dec 14 = I have gotten behind on my bloging so I'll just guess what I did these next few days.

Fri Dec 15 = Today I, around noon, I lay in the sun by the pool and then swam 12 laps to get my blood circulating.
- I walked all the way to the Crown Point TTPOST (post office) to find they were closed until further notice. The nearest TTPOST is Scarborough I wasn't planning on a big trip today, but ended taking a taxi to Scarborough where I mailed my Christmas Cards and then to The Bar Code there where I arranged to do comedy on Thursday during their karaoke show, then to Turtle Beach where I found they no longer have karaoke, then to then to Magdalena Grand where I arranged to do comedy on Saturday during their karaoke show. I did a LOT of walking and got back home well after dark trying to maximize my trip.

Sat Dec 16 = This afternoon I found a bank with NO FEE for debit card cash: The Republic Bank Limited's Blue Machine RBL Crown Point (opposite Jade Monkey). Later, after using ScottaBank, I found it charges a 7% fee :(
- Tonight I had a pretty good audience of 40 at Magdalena Grand for my first set. RiRi (Bf), the host, put me on first and that went pretty well. Later in the show, my second set, was before an audience of 33 less responsive people. Covering the 7.1km (4.412mi) back home to Douglas Apartments took a lot of walking and, finally, a taxi.

Sun Dec 17 = Last night, just after midnight and before going to bed, I updated my website. It's a good thing, because my
Dell XPS-13 computer with 13.3" touch screen, 60WHr Integrated Battery, Windows 10, Intel 7th Generation Core i7 CPU, 16gb memory and 1TB SSD
was dead this morning. It would not even turn on. All I could ever get was the power light for 15 seconds, then nothing.
- I have been spending considerable time each day trying to track down the checked kite bag which American Airlines lost. It's sort of like a bunch of bags fell into the Miami black hole on their way to four Caribbean airports, POS being one of them.

Mon Dec 18 = Today I researched my dead
Dell XPS-13 computer with 13.3" touch screen, 60WHr Integrated Battery, Windows 10, Intel 7th Generation Core i7 CPU, 16gb memory and 1TB SSD
and pretty much concluded that there was nothing I could do about it here in Tobago. No website update today. Fortunately I have everything backed up, but back in Phoenix. Now I get to redo the days of blogging I had done in the Dell.
- This afternoon some fine folks helped me hunt downSandy Point and the Sundy School Party venue. I left a couple business cards.

Tue Dec 19 = I walked down to the Coliseum Mall to Berry Link and bought an Alcatel 8085 for tt$2,200 (about us$326), a cute little 10" HD tablet that acts like a laptop when the computer is sitting in the keyboard's magnetic slot.
By evening I had downloaded all my website files from GoDaddy and updated my home page with additional future comedy appearances here on Tobago. The Alcatel is not very powerful with only 2gb of ram and a tiny 32gb SSD hard drive. By comparison, my dead
Dell XPS-13 computer with 13.3" touch screen, 60WHr Integrated Battery, Windows 10, Intel 7th Generation Core i7 CPU, 16gb memory and 1TB SSD
has 16gb of ram and a 1,000 gb SSD. The Alcatel DOES have a micro SD slot which I plan to use to its maximum of 128gb.

Wed Dec 20 = It takes lots of extra time to do things when you do not have password reminders for your Internet logons. Those passwords are in my dead
Dell XPS-13 computer with 13.3" touch screen, 60WHr Integrated Battery, Windows 10, Intel 7th Generation Core i7 CPU, 16gb memory and 1TB SSD
as part of its Firefox bookmarks as well as an Internet reference file. When I get back to Phoenix you can bet I'll put the latter online so I won't have to go through the forgot your password hassles.

Thu Dec 21 = Tonight I had the best audience yet here on Tobago, at The Bar Code, Sports Bar and Grill; Milford Rd in Scarborough. I got to bed sort of late, considering the show started at 10pm.

Fri Dec 22 = Around noon I lay in the sun by the pool here at Douglas Apartments and then swam 12 laps to get my blood circulating.
- I walked East to a T-Shirt/Silk Screening place to see about getting some of my shirts made. The place is closed until January 3rd, 2018 :( On the way home I stopped by the little Pro Body Suplements store sand visited with the owner. He told me about the only gym that I have heard about on Tobago: Foundations gym, BuckyGym 305 9080 (maybe on Kelton), which is open 24 hours between 6pm Saturday and 6pm Friday.
- Later I walked down to Berry Link and bought a 64gb micro SD card (the largest they had) as the data drive for my new Alcatel 8085 computer.
- This evening I got an email forwarded from American Airlines:
Dear Mr. Self, Please be advised that your delayed luggage has been forwarded to Tobago today 21.12.17 on AA1532 which departed POS at 5.35pm. We do apologize for any inconvenience caused by this delay.

Sat Dec 23 = I FINALLY GOT MY KITE BAG today, 11 days after American Airlines lost it, but it was not easy. I got up early and Andre took me to the Crown Point Airport (ANR). After an hour of waiting around we found that I had to give customs special PTR form, which I never received when I reported my bag missing 11 days ago at the Trinidad Airport (POS). American Airlines in Trinidad was going to FAX the form but they were busy. Andre and I went back home, I went to bed for some much needed sleep until Andre knocked on my room door that my bag was ready to go. Back at the airport we were told that customs was busy with a plane load of people so couldn't tend to my bag at the time. After about a half hour my bag was on the curb for us. Thank you for your help and patience, Andre!
- Comedy this evening went a little better than the baggage situation. I felt pretty good about the 20 minutes of stand up I had worked up for Revs Steak House & Bar; Shirvan Rd, in Buccoo for my 7:30 show. By the time Thorne arrived with the PA system and got it set up, it was almost eight, so I had about five minutes for my comedy, which is OK. That's called rolling with the punches.
- It took an awful long time for me to get a taxi in front of Revs to The Magdalena Grand, but I got a good one. It was Mr. T (Trevor? 292-7868 or 635-0011), an interesting retired bus driver (about 64) who was a delight to ride with. He even stayed for my appearance at the Robinson Crusoe Pub and then took me home. The karaoke was run by Thorne,the same as at Revs earlier in the evening. I videoed my set, using the tripod from my newly located kite bag.

Sun Dec 24 = Wagon took me to Pigeon point with my big bag in his taxi this afternoon. There wasn't enough wind to ride, but I DID get my 12m brand new Airush Union up in the air on the beach for its first flight. Radical Sports had their weekly BBQ, which I declined, not being into hot dogs and hamburgers. After that, including introducing myself, I did a nine-minute comedy show about SUP on Maui for the audience of 13 which was mostly sitting on the Radical Sports steps with a beautiful seascape background for my stage.
- I got really drowsy so went to bed early, 8:08pm. I got up to pee lots. Usual for me is three or maybe two times. At 5am I coughed and my auto motion alarm went off, so I did my 6th pee, canceled all alarms and went back to bed and slept 'til 8:43am. Guess I needed the sleep.

Mon Dec 25 = MERRY CHRISTMAS! A pretty good day for kiteboarding I was sleeping in without an alarm. I didn't get out to Pigeon Point until the middle of the afternoon. By the time I got out on the water, there wasn't enough wind to stay upwind with my 12. About an hour later I went out again, had some decent runs and came in as the wind was decreasing. I guess I did OK because a couple other kites were down in the water.
- I hitched a ride home with Svin and Christi Witt... excellent people from Germany.

Tue Dec 26 = Happy BOXING DAY, celebrated here in Tobago and most of the UK. They think its origin is related to boxes for money for servants or the poor.
- I had a pretty good 1-hour kite session, worked mostly on jumps and staying upwind. Unless I rent equipment all my sessions will be with my 12m Airush Union kite and my 132cm Axis board.
- What a BIG PARTY for Boxing Day here at Douglas Apartments. Allison and Joane Douglas had about 13 tables with chairs under a big tent in their parking lot, a free bar, gobs of food, including rabbit, a DJ (DJ Diamond), an all local crowd of aobut 53 and... me for 15 minutes of comedy. Only one lady really got into my routine and I didn't have too good of feelings about my show. She said that the locals probably didn't get some of my references because they may not watch much US TV.

Wed Dec 27 = Getting out to Pigeon Point early this morning(10am for me), I decided to get an IKO Level 4 certification. With Guido, my instructor, watching from the beach, I did two runs but there was too little wind to stay upwind, one of the certification requirements, so I headed toward home, walking. Before I got to the park exit, I stopped to visit with three locals sitting on a picnic table. They kept trying to get me to give them a sample of my comedy when a guy drove by in a car, hollered, Hey, Arizona Lou. And then, to the people on the picnic table, He's good. We saw him last night. You ought to go see him. Now, that endorsement made me feel a lot better about last night!
- I finally got a taxi and stopped at Penny Saver for tt$461 of groceries.
- Karaoke tonight at The Jade Monkey was... karaoke and did not include my stand up comedy. That is their privilege, but it would have been nice to know before hanging around three hours. I'm sorry if I sounded a little argumentative when talking with, Sean, the manager.
- I got to bed late (about 1am).

Thu Dec 28 = In a book I am reading by the creator of the famous Dilbert cartoons,
Scott Adams says take care of yourself and you'll be able to do more of what needs to be done, so I slept in, getting up a little before eleven, today. I worked on web stuff, made some local comedy phone calls and organized my trip. On it I bought a chisel-tip felt marker, a birthday card for Rose Anne, my X, and made it out to Pigeon Point and Radical Sports with a comedy poster (announcing my 5:30pm Saturday shows there) for them to put up. It took about a half hour to get the cab. Radical said that the wind wasn't very good today so I didn't miss out on anything.
- Wren shared the taxi with me. He is a tech for a local radio station. He knows some people and is going to give me some references for getting my T-shirts printed locally.
- BIG project finished this evening was catching up on my blog for the last 14 days!
- Comedy hasn't gone according to plan the last couple days. Yesterday it was The Jade Monkey in Crown Point and today it was Barcode in Scarborough. Yesterday I heard that Barcode had a fire in their kitchen. I new it was chancing taking a taxi there without email confirmationn of their 10pm karaoke show. The place was locked up.
- But on the way back home I did discover a good comedy idea. Do my local Tobago stuff in the taxi for practice, and more importantly, to check their reactions. Did they laugh? Did they understand the reference.

Fri Dec 29 = The Samsung 128gb micro SD card that I ordered for my Alcatel 8085 computer arrived today by UPS - nine days after I ordered it from Amazon. Shipping was $14.73; Ouch!
- I saw no sun and it rained a number of times during the day. This evening I went to Pumpy's Green Door Bar and visited with Pumpy, himself, about doig some comedy there. He has no PA system so that will not work out, but he DID take my information. On the way home I stopped three places looking for bananas, cottage cheese. For my treat I had a 4-ounce container of Hagan Das Swiss Chocolate ice cream.
- Back home I tried to migrate my TeeChip account to their new PRO version because the old version is shuttng down at midnight, new year's eve. TeeChip makes my T-Shirts available online.

Sat Dec 30 = It was raining almost all day today; many times hard. I stayed around the apartment all day; got the new 128g micro SD card installed in my Alcatel 8085, got all my stuff copied over to it, got everything backed up to the old 64g micro SD card, got instruction manuals for my dead
Dell XPS-13 computer with 13.3" touch screen, 60WHr Integrated Battery, Windows 10, Intel 7th Generation Core i7 CPU, 16gb memory and 1TB SSD
and got.. bored.
- For comedy I phoned Hyena's Comedy and then messaged them through Facebook. They have clubs in Dallas, Fort Worth and Plano, TX.
- I spent too much energy deciding, but made the right decision by wearing my hooded jacket on tonight's comedy excursion to the Magdalena Grand Beach Resort at the Tobago Plantations Estate in The Lowlands.

Sun Dec 31 = What a crowd at Pigeon Point: a combination of the last Sunday of the month being free for the Park and a cruise ship docked for the day, dumping over 4,000 tourests on the island. No wind, though... or sun... or rain, fortunately. I wandered around all the people then took Derica's taxi to Scarborough, where the Britannia is in port, to see about doing stand up comedy for them. The Britannia is a Princiss Cruise ship of the P&O (Pacific & Orient) Cruise Fleet. I was unable to get even close to the boat, due to security, but did get an email idea from an agent at the gate. It was my first live view of a cruise ship. Next time a ship is in port, I may try doing a sidewalk show as the passengers are returning from their day on Tobago.

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