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Blog Archive 2017 Apr

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Tonight I went to Stand Up Live and saw one of the most creative and funniest comedians: Eddie Griffin - not clean, but FUNNY! I enjoyed him more on this video than in person.
https://youtu.be/ Sun Apr 2 = Today I cancelled my Catalina Sports Bar appearance and others, due to my being under the weather. It wasn't very smart to lay out in the sun for 20 minutes this noon. I didn't have a whole lot of energy but any way I stood at my kitchen counter and used my heat gun to hand-fuse about 87 of my comedy business cards. Otherwise their ink has a tendency to rub off. About 61% of the ones I had printed and cut up were already smeared. Next time I'll hand fuse the cards BEFORE cutting them up.

Mon Apr 3 = I laid low today with a fever all day. I created my new poster for this season at
Hatteras Island and the Outer Banks off the coast of North Carolina
and made 400 2 x 3" microposters (PDF here) to pass out while I'm there.

Tue Apr 4 = I got my old Samsung Galaxy S2 i9100 to send audio to my new PA system via Bluetooth. Pretty cool
- This evening I ventured out, with a slight fever, to The House of Comedy to do five minutes. It went pretty well. The only problem for recording the audience audio is their noisy air handler.

Wed Apr 5 = I worked on my taxes this morning for about an hour. Then, online, found a new battery for my old Samsung S2 i9100 cell phone. It works well as a Bluetooth source of music for my new 14" high Samson Expedition XP106w PA system (Pictured below with its rear control panel).
PA System Controls

Thu Apr 6 = The Bird City Comedy Festival here in Phoenix this weekend has seven comedians for headliners plus 56 other comedians, many of them my local friends. I put in for the festival but was not accepted. All is not lost. They have three Little Bird Showcases, and I have signed up for tonight and Friday night at Lawn Gnome Publishing.
- The show was run off-the-cuff by host, Bill Lakowski, who came to the show with nothing but a high after doing pot (I think) I obliged him when he asked to borrow my clipboard, a pen and for some paper. After my set I felt pretty good about winning when said something like, "Don't do this to me, Lou, when I've been on pot," which I took to mean I made him laugh too hard. I had chosen the routine especially for him because he had not seen it before. I didn't feel so good when he let his girlfriend choose the winner - another guy who also had a well-organized set. I'm not even sure Bill's girlfriend had paid attention to my set. Humble pie is always good for the soul.
- Back at home, I processed last Tuesday's video from House of Comedy.

Fri Apr 7 = I got a good night's sleep, laying flat (instead of elevating my torso), had no fever and felt pretty good this morning. Now to get back to being active, being smart and starting slowly. Stupidly, I started by laying out in the sun this afternoon and spraying the weeds, front and back, in only shorts. All that sun was not smart, as it resulted in a headache and mild temperature the rest of the day and through most of the night.
- Today I organized some graph paper for making sense of scheduling open mics on my way across the country. I have officially quit trying to get bookings, at least for the time being.

Sat Apr 8 = By this morning I recovered from my stupid sun exposure yesterday. This morning I started a battery test with my new Samson Expedition XP106w PA system. It contains a SLA battery and is supposed to operate continuously for 20 hours on a full charge. They don't say how long the wireless microphone operates on its two AA cells. I researched funny things in history for one of my sets. Didn't come up with much.
- Tonight's comedy was another edition of the Little Bird comedy competition. It was a well run show Hosted by Matt Micheletti.

Sun Apr 9 = This afternoon I polished my van's left front bumper where
my neighbor to the east who earns his living doing auto body work
repainted it four weeks ago.
- Two comedy appearances tonight. The first was for the monthly Infuse Open Mic at the Phoenix Center for the Arts: Third Street Theater. The second was in the basement of the same facility. It was the Bird City Comedy Festival's final event, their One-Liner Madness, where everyone is guaranteed to be a loser, but the one winner. It was sort of like the March Madness brackets, only with the rowdiest, loudest group of comedians that I have ever seen. I lost to Matt Stores on the first round. He made it to the third round, so that made me feel better.

Mon Apr 10 = Unbelievable: the ONO 3-D printer you can get for $99 (called OLO at first). It uses light from your cell phone to harden the resin.

Here is a 3:11 introductory video.

Here is an 8-minute video with more details.

- I don't know if a somewhat streaked, dark, rear bumper on my van is better than a light, faded, one, but late this afternoon I took my heat gun out and heated the bumper to the point that it turned dark, close to its original color. I also attempted to reduce the height of the bumper's forward-facing edge so it wouldn't scrape against the bottom of the hatch. That went OK except near the ends.
- Just before bed I printed out the three-week countdown to leaving on my spring Comedy/Kiteboarding Road Tour. Now the earnest stuff starts.

Tue Apr 11 = I have enough clocks around that I seldom look at my watch. I know that because I'll be out somewhere in the evening, look down at my
Garmin smart watch that has GPS, specialty timers, heart rate and is connected to my phone via Bluetooth
and notice that it is still in the pulse mode from my morning exercycle.
- At noon, I lay out in the sun for 20 minutes, raked my front-yard granite in eight minutes and road my exercycle for two minutes.
- I got my two credit cards with balances paid off through Mint. Mint surely makes it easy. - On the way to comedy I stopped by three Goodwill stores, looking for a case or bag for my new
PA system
my small Samson Expedition XP106w PA system with wireless mic, bluetooth, line in, line out and connections for XLR & 1/4" mics
. I bought something close to the 9 x 9 x 14" I needed at the first store. Then traded it in for something so close that it is scary... and a little difficult to get into the bag. I did my Yoga routine at Dos Gringos and hosted the last of the show at Grand Avenue Pizza. Also, Grand Avenue used my PA system. It was the first real live show with it and included, first time for Grand Avenue, Bluetooth intro music for the comedians... until the battery ran down on the old Samsung Galaxy S2 i9100 that was my music source. It was a fun group. Buck Newman, one of the co-producers helped me carry everything, including my video equipment, out to my van. Thanks, Buck!

Wed Apr 12 = It took me a little over an hour to resolve my checking account today. That was for everything including downlowding the sattement, making a correction and researching a mystery ATM withdrawal from Basha's.
- I like to support the little guy, so went to the little UPS store north on Cave Creek Road and got 30 of my OBX Comedy posters LASER printed - half of them on my own card stock. They do a good job of pleasing the customer.
- At LA Fitness I started out fast and light with each body part for my Legs Day; then went to heavy and slow. That way I earned my Wednesday protein frosty.
- I played hooky from comedy this evening by not showing up at Toso's or Chop and Wok and by taking both down from my website at the last moment.
- Tonight I learned that the aspect ratio for my Canon VIXIA HF R600 camcorder cannot be set directly. One must go down through the menus and select MP4 and 4MBPS to get 1280 x 720, which is 16:9 and matches the settings on my other cameras. Somehow, for my last appearance at The Tempe Improv, I had it set at 4:3. My Cyberlink Power Director 15 handled the difference with black bars so it was not very noticeable, but it still was not right. Next time...

Thu Apr 13 = I got my income taxes finished, filed and accepted. With some help from TaxAct Online, I found a mistake that changed me from owing the IRS over $3,000 to receiving an $85 refund. Whew!
- This evening after the open mic at Improv Mania where I did six minutes of Yoga, one of the other comedians said he noticed that I have improved a lot since I started going there. I don't think he realized how big of a complement that was for me, or how encouraging. Any way I'll hold my head a little higher next time I bomb.
- On the way home I did a light-to-heavy arms workout at the Dobson LA Fitness in Chandler. Then, at home, I backed up all the modified files on my
Sony Vaio Duo 11 computer with 11.6" touch screen, Windows 10, 8gb memory and 256gb SSD
, so got to bed pretty late (2am).

Fri Apr 14 = Today in the mail I got a letter from Capital One that they can't increase my credit limit because Recent use of this account's existing credit line has been too low. F**k you, Capital One!

Sat Apr 15 = Under the auspices of
The organization I support and through which I take non-driving seniors shopping and to their doctors' appointments
I took Denise shopping at Winco Foods. I bought over $80 worth of groceries, buying everything to have no food left at home when I leave on my
My 2017 spring/summer 3.5-month comedy/kiteboarding road trip to the East Coast.
. I can't believe how long I spent in the bulk foods section, getting nuts, cinnamon, ginger bran flakes and Scottish Oatmeal for the trip. While there I gave out six Tempe Improv tickets to good prospects.
- Back here at home I lay in the sun 20 minutes, ate lunch and then took a long nap to make up for last night and in anticipation of being up late tonight and getting up early to join
George & Cindy
younger brother and his wife who live in Mesa, Arizona
for breakfast at their church, then scoot off to central Phoenix for a Hayes Easter, then to downtown Phoenix to the Kax Stage at the Herberger Theater for some comedy, then back home to, hopefully, get to bed early so I can rise early and head out to the airport to fly.
- Tonight, instead of going to a party (because it is next Saturday) I went to LA Fitness for a light-to-heavy torso workout and to Big Lots for some baby sunscreen and toilet bowl cleaner. Then, at home, I processed the video from my six-minute Thursday Improv Mania appearance in 1.3 hours.

Easter Sunday Apr 16 = Big day - especially after getting to bed so late. First thing I drove over to the Connect Church to have a pancake/saucage breakfast with
George & Cindy
younger brother and his wife who live in Mesa, Arizona
, then home to take an hour nap, then to
Harold and Bernadette
my X-brother-in-law and his wife
's for a lovely visit with them, and Rose Anne (my X) who had driven down from Payson, then to the Kax Stage at The Herberger Theater for their open mic (I did my Hurt Hand routine).
- On the way back to the parking garage there, at The Arizona Center, I saw a 3-man steel drum band, so stopped to listen and video some of their music.

It was good to not be in my usual mad rush and to be able to smell the roses... er, listen to the music.

Mon Apr 17 = This morning, doing research for one of my comedy bits, I researched the Best Drivers in 200 US cites. I was surprised with Boston coming in at #199.
- Interested in new training, a new career or even a first career? Glass Door lists their idea of the 50 best jobs in America.
computer guy

Tue Apr 18 = I started my pre-trip sewing projects, which includes modifying the pockets of my cargo shorts and pants specifically for my electronics and making my bikini under briefs even briefer.
- This evening I took my new Samson Expedition XP106w PA system down to Dos Gringos and set it up before anyone else arrived. Jill let me use it, music and all. It was adequate for the fairly large room with noisy AC. The mic clip came off the stand, due to a design flaw in the way the clip mounts to the mic stand. When you screw the clip onto the stand, before it gets tight, the stand pulls the clip's threaded brass insert out of the clip and it falls off the mic stand.

Wed Apr 19 = I started off today's trip by washing my van & engine - my first time at the Canyon Car Wash. Although it is self service, it has a very helpful attendant. I stopped by LA Fitness for a slow, heavy legs workout to earn my Wednesday protein frosty.
- Next stop was the Metrocenter Guitar Center for a better mic clip that would not come appart and fall off. While waiting for assistance, another customer and I discovered that removing the cup nut from the stand would allow the brass fitting of the clip to seat metal-to-metal, rather than pulling the brass fitting out of the clip. Now the plan is to reinstall the brass fittings into the base of the two broken mic clips in such a way that the mic clips will be facing the right direction when tight.
- There were only three comedians and about two audience members at The Nest, so Bobby Johnson called off the show. At least it was beautiful weather for driving 49 miles. Sorry 'bout that, Bobby.

Thu Apr 20 = This morning I took my van in to C&R Tire for its annual pre-trip check. They found nothing of particular concern other than slight oil leaks in unknown places (uses about 1 qt between oil changes) and rubber hoses and belts that might be effected by the oil. My plan is to have the radiator hoses replaced at the next coolant flush n fill, in about 18k miles.
- At C&R Tire, I met Glen De Jongh, who is in the entertainment business and is currently producing a music trivia bingo game he calls Songo.
- On the way home I stopped by The Fabric Depot and Home Depot for a spiked vinyl carpet runner to replace the worn-out prickle mat I have in front of my kitchen sink. The mat keeps my feet tough year-round for beach excursions, walking barefoot on my granite and for kiteboarding.

Fri Apr 21 = I Moon-Juiced my myoporums on the way out the door for my first trip this morning: all stops were at Plaza de Campana, 32nd St & Bell: LA Fitness for a heavy, slow arms workout, Harbor Freight for epoxy glue and a free, 24 LED shop light to possibly use as a stage light during my Comedy at the Camp shows on
Hatteras Island and the Outer Banks off the coast of North Carolina

- This afternoon I was visiting around with some neighbors and saw a Cox Cable contractor in the neighborhood. He said that Cox was putting fiber optic cable to each house. He looked at the cable box to my house and said that it had not been done yet for me.
- T-Shirt time: I ordered 25 T-Shirts from
Design A Shirt
T-Shirt company in Tempe, AZ that has excellent service and reasonable prices
. They should be delivered Fri the 21st, the day before I leave on my road tour.
- With a little epoxy glue I reinstalled the threaded brass inserts into the bottom of the two broken mic clips, orientated so they are tight when the mic points correctly - better than when they were new. I have modified the mic stand so that it does not break the mic clips by pulling out their inserts.
- This evening I drove down to the Tempe Improv to see my friends Steve ShortBus Krause, the opener and Andy Steinberg, the feature. I went there for Adam Ferrara. He did not disappoint. He was particularly good at different walks, voices and takeoffs from his crowd work. It all seemed to be such a relaxed flow.

Sat Apr 22 = A big project for a little thing this afternoon: making a
dead cat
a furry cover to shield a microphone from the wind
for the Sony ICD-UX560 stereo voice recorder I use as my audience mic. Clean recordings in a windy environment is important on
Hatteras Island and the Outer Banks off the coast of North Carolina
- Other projects were cutting my hairs, stopping by a gym for a shower and then to a party. Before bed I did a saltwater gargle and sinus flush.

Sun Apr 23 = Making arrangements for my road tour, I discovered Hyena's Comedy Nightclubs in Texas. They have an open mic in Dallas on Wednesdays, which I needed to fil in my schedule. They also have an open mic at their Plano club for Sunday. I'm going to see if I can get away in time to do that one. Keepin' my nose to the grindstone.
- I unplugged it from my van and brought in my
our van's Lithium/Iron/Manganese/Phosphate/Oxygen house battery
battery for its annual testing and cell balancing.

Mon Apr 24 = Today was the reward for getting my taxes done: Spending 1.2 hours in a Cessna 172 N-Model with Scott Kim (from Korea?). I can still fly, even in with the challenging, gusty, 21k crosswind. - This afternoon I spread Green Light pre-emergence granules front and back and reinstalled the sun screens onto the four windows from which I removed them for the winter.
- Tonight was the final Pink Slip open mic show at Lawn Gnome Publishing Co, because they are closing the place on Friday. It was a good show. I did my Viagra set in prep for Wednesday at the Tempe Improv. Then on to The Devil's Advocate for the same routine.

Tue Apr 25 = Today I stayed home, mostly preparing for my road tour and practicing for tomorrow's Viagra at the Tempe Improv.
- This evening I worked on comedy stops for my trip. Then when it was time to go to bed I realized that I had not backed up my computer so spent about two hours getting it going. I went to bed way late with the computer copying files to a backup drive.

Wed Apr 26 = In preparation for
George & Cindy
younger brother and his wife who live in Mesa, Arizona
's visit I kept my Vaio backup churning away (so I can give them my off-site backup drive), swept, mopped and vacuumed this morning. They came over a little after 1pm for lunch. We had a good visit, I did tonight's five-minute comedy routing for them and took them on The Tour of Death. That's where I show them where I have my house map of tax, account, house, living will, will and other information that will come in handy since I'm di dying... just don't know when or how. I figure you've got to have a little fun with death, since we're all headed that direction.
George & Cindy
younger brother and his wife who live in Mesa, Arizona
left in time for me to take a nap, make arrangements with Pedro Ramirez (to trim my shrubs and watch my weeds), finish the Vaio off-site backup drive, take it to George's and arrive in time at the Tempe Improv.
- At the Tempe Improv I got all five of my recording devices set up to record Viagra for my Press Kit. Then I learned that I would not be on the show, because none of the 80 people I gave tickets to showed up. Ah, well.
- On to The Lounge in north Phoenix for Tom Simms' Laughter at the Lounge. It was my first time there. It was a neat place and a neat show. Thanks, Tom, for the seven minutes of fun.

Thu Apr 27 = Urgent project: getting my van registration, which expires the last of May, while I'll be on my trip. I Got a tire pressure check at Discount Tire, the emissions checked, got the new licence plate tab at a DMV kiosk; then went to Home Depot for some keys & Fry's for a prescription. That should take care of gallivanting around until I leave for my comedy tour Saturday morning.
- The rest of the day was organizing and packing stuff for the van.
- I might have been able to fix it right if I knew how. Instead I did a stupid workaround. You see, the van's passenger-side eat control door is stuck in the HOT position - not good for a summer road tour. Plan A would have been to find a lose wire or something simple. I never did find the door control motor. Plan B would have been to park the door permanently in the COOL position. No good since I couldn't find the door control arm. Plan C, the stupid solution: seal off all the passenger vents with gaffer's tape. The plus side is that the AC will put out more air to me, the driver.

Fri Apr 28 = I got an email today from Ben Kalb of Ben Kalb Productions to see if I would be interested in flying to Las Vegas in May for the production of an informercial for a new fitness belt that works the abs. I phoned him. The bottom line is a no go for me, as most informercials are ripoffs. Also I would not want to endorse something that I do not really believe in.
- For the first time I got my van all packed the night before leaving... well by 4am.

Sat Apr 29 = I got away from home at 11:30am for the long, hard drive to Plano Texas in two days. Spent the night in El Paso.

Sun Apr 30 = I arrived at the Plano Hyena's Comedy Nightclub about 40 minutes before sign-up started. I didn't feel real good about my routine until I listened to the recording. I got a lot of chuckles for my old man routine. The show was in the loby of their comedy club.
- For the night I headed a little southwest of Plano and spent the night at a Dallas Walmart, headed toward Austin.

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